So I realized that it’s been over a year since I started on the Cipralex. October 13th, and it’s almost November. It hasn’t been too bad since the new year, definitely better than years past, and way better than when I was trying to get on it. That was brutal. Back in June, I wrote a Dummies’ Guide to Cipralex for those who are thinking of getting on the pill. There’s also the latest research that shows how they think Cipralex works, and it doesn’t look like it has much to do with the serotonin now. At least, that’s what my very amateur, very not-graduate eyes are looking at it. But all in all, I don’t regret taking it. It was incredibly rough in the beginning, but so worth it after a couple of months. I do recommend people who are thinking of going on it to get on it and prepare for a hell of a ride because the light at the end of the tunnel is much better than being stuck in the darkness. The one thing I do still have an issue with is my focus on my readings, but that could be because legal philosophy is so…bleeding….dry. Overall though, I have a better focus in everything and I can think much clearer now. Not 100% yet, but getting there and it’s better than being at zero percent.
The Recent
Keeping on the theme of the pill, I had an interesting reaction to it in the past couple of days. Lately, I haven’t been eating on time, and missing on meals like breakfast. On Monday, I came home from class, felt really weak, dazed, and relatively confused. One of the small side effects I’ve noticed about the Cipralex is that my teeth feel really sensitive sometimes. I can’t remember what exactly triggers it, but it definitely has some kind of trigger, and I’ll feel the anxiety. I always took the teeth sensation as a sign that the Cipralex was kicking in and doing its job. Before I started doing anything when I got through the door that night, I immediately nuked a couple of pizza pockets and chowed it down before they had a chance to cool. Within 15 minutes, I felt good enough to start on my actual dinner. Last night was the same thing. I’m also starting to think that these are diabetic, low-blood sugar attacks, but I’ve never had these sensations before so I wouldn’t know. It definitely felt like the same confusion diabetics look like they’re going through, and believe me, I’ve first-responded to enough to know. So that’s the weird bit. I haven’t had any attacks today, but I also had a couple of burgers and fries for lunch, and took a nap before class. Not sure if the nap slowed down the digestion or not, but I feel pretty fine when I got back. I also had breakfast and lunch today, and went six hours between that and dinner. Yesterday, I had breakfast, lunch, and only 5 hours between lunch and dinner. If anything, I had more to eat on Tuesday than I did tonight. Maybe it was the food itself because I did have a lot of white rice? I’m not sure, I’m not anywhere near educated enough in the field, but the bread the burgers had was also white. My guess would be the nap.
The Ankle
I didn’t give an update on my ankle in the last blog. It’s going way too slowly. I’ve been able to go about in my house without the use of my soft brace, but I’m still not confident enough to go brace-less outside, so I use my hard one. I really like that one a lot. It’s got two soft splints on either side which stabilizes the ankle, and lets me take baby steps to recover from rough terrain. That’s good because I’ve had a few close calls since. I’ve been given the green light to run softly for a bit. Another one of those “stop if there’s pain” things. Skating wise, it hasn’t been a problem what so ever, so I’m hoping to improve on that. So…I’m clear to start working out again.
The Something
I’m so tired, I can’t think of any sectional title for this bit. I’ve been really tired since Saturday, and I’m not sure why. I can’t seem to focus much either. I’ve been on a tear that ended Friday so maybe I just pushed myself a little too hard. I want to take a night off but there’s just so much to do that I can’t seem to shut myself down to reboot. I’m not sure if it’s the fatigue and stress, but I’ve also been feeling kinda lonely lately. The chick I mentioned a few months ago is back in the picture. She’s just been really flirty lately and today was the first time in a while where we didn’t talk. I started reading through some of our conversations in the past couple of days and it’s obviously all in my head. That has helped a bit. And I actually slept before continuing on writing this sentence so my thinking is so much more clearer now.
The Group
So group therapy is starting to get a bit more interesting. Practically nobody has been showing up lately and the Doc is getting worried about it. Personally, I’m not: I still got my counsellor and him to fall back on so whatever. lol But he seems hellbent on having a group though, it’s kinda creepy. It’s an interesting thing because I’ve never thought about having an incomplete group and what would happen. I always pictured it as a thing where everybody shows up and that’s hardly an issue. I think I’ve also been getting better at opening up, too. I’ve been talking about….oh, let’s give her a name….uh….Bernadette. No one uses that name anymore, do they? Last time in group, I wasn’t be able to do that because I felt like I was being judged, but now, I force myself to do it, no matter how uncomfortable I get. So I guess this has been better for me, we’ll see some more.
The Stats
Yes, I know, it’s the end of October, and I should really be doing my stats, but…is it really worth it? I can take a very estimated number and plug that into the equation, but I don’t feel that it’ll be very accurate. Instead, I think I’m going to take the month of October very lightly, and only use the average number as a comparison to the other coming months, and a total average for the 12 months I’ll be doing this. It’s a bit of an asterisk, much like how baseball’s steroids use makes it a “sport.”
Here’s a really random song because I don’t listen to Them that often.
Follow me on Twitter @288theabe
288theabe 