I seem to take these 4-month breaks, but I’m writing just to check in. The reason for that extended break is that for a while, 3 women wouldn’t talk to me and that got me down on myself again, enough so that I was close to a (9). I didn’t even want to write about it because I’m just so sick of the same thing over and over and fucking over again. That was back in October. It’s been an interesting ride ever since.
So in the last post back in September, I mentioned about the numbers and my little obsession with them. My regular season stats was a goals against average of 5.10 and a goals allowed of 51. Both are league-leading or worst, depending on how you look at it, but I also tied in points (assists in this case) with one. At the same time, I had goal support of 58, so I didn’t like the fact that my team was bailing me out. It makes me look like a shit goalie compared to the others.
I also mentioned that I was nervous about a game against a team wearing pink. Well, no need to worry because we won…a whopping 10-2. As someone who was still pretty new to the game, it was nerve-wracking because I was never on the giving end of a blow out; I was usually the one getting blown out. It was weird because my anxiety was up in that game, and my legs wouldn’t want to work and I was second-guessing my abilities (more on that later). But, we won, move on.
The Game 3
The following game was actually my favourite in the entire season because I went up against a goalie named Jonathan Bernier. Now, to the non-hockey fans, there’s a Jonathan Bernier playing for the Toronto Maple Leafs, my favourite team growing up (their current results in the past few weeks have not been helping my depression issues…). Obviously, it’s not the NHLer Jonathan Bernier I went up against, but some guy with the same name who just happens to play goalie as well. We beat that team 5-2, so for the rest of my life, I get to say that I beat Jonathan Bernier…I just won’t mention which one. ;)
The Game 4
I had a shit game the next week, losing 8-7. I was so mad at myself because we managed to tie with 17 seconds left, and I blew another goal within that time. That was just pathetic. I remember not feeling that great mentally that night, but that shouldn’t be an excuse. I also work Saturday mornings, and I would come back home for a nap. Can’t remember if I did that day, but still not an excuse.
The Game 5
The next game was a bizarre one. We lost again 6-4, but I was okay with it. I had a hell of a first period and was totally in the zone. The problem was, it was the start of reading week and we only had one line so it was all six of us against a team able to substitute players. Funny incident, we were on a delayed penalty and one strategy was to pull the goalie for an extra attacker because the whistle goes when the penalized team touches the puck. So I’m skating hard to the bench….and then I see that no one is there….at the blue line. D’oh….
Anyways, we were leading 4-0 by the middle of the game, when the other team stormed back and took advantage of our fatigue. My thinking was, what can you do about that? Most of our team were already out of town for the break, so I was okay with that loss.
The Games 6, 7, 8, & 9
The rest of the team was back in the next game, where we won 6-3. I spoke to one of the players on the opposing team a few days ago and he said I’ve lost weight and improved so much since I first started a year and change ago. That really helped with my confidence in general. We won again the following week against a team we should’ve easily beat, 7-5. It was around here that the core of my team stopped playing defense and decided to hot dog and show off. We did not deserve to win that game.
Same thing happened next game, but I think I also put some pressure on myself because this was the same team we lost to 6-4 without a team, so the ones who were there definitely wanted some payback. No dice, but at the same time, we were also hot dogging like we were in the past game. More of the same the next game where we lost 5-1. I remember I had no chance on 4 of those goals, and 3 of those were on the backdoor (passed to the offensive player in a blind spot where I didn’t know he was there and I had to go post to post to try to make the save). I was okay with that loss again because I knew it wasn’t my fault.
I should point out that we were on a pretty bad playing streak. We were 3-2 before mid-season and division realignment, and 2-2 so far after the break. We went from a playoff team to hoping to make it into the post-season dance. I was also picked up off the campus waiver wire to play in another league the day before, sometimes two games back to back, so I was pretty tired after a while.
(I made the finals in a bizarre sequence where I got shelled 12-0, and then won 10-1 with two different teams. Yeah, it’s really weird.)
The Game 10
The next game didn’t help either as I completely lost my mojo and gave up 9 goals. My guys scored 6 in an attempt to come back, and like the other high-scoring game, I was pissed. I caved in again because of the pressure. I ended up breaking my paddle against the wall afterwards, and we weren’t even sure if we made it into the playoffs. Luckily, we had scored enough goals in a standings tie-breaker to squeak in. By now, I was all hockey’d out. I was playing for a little over a year straight and wanted nothing more than to veg out building my Lego Star Wars and go golfing. But, whatever, another game and it’ll be over.
Or so I thought.
It was a semi-final format so the first team we went up against was the team that beat us 5-1 in the regular season who were also the number 1 seed in our division. We beat them 6-3 because the core guys who were hot dogging decided to finally play some team hockey. I was actually pretty pumped that we won and advanced because I had sleep the night before (I called in sick to work), and it was the second time I made the finals that semester. We ended up against the 3rd seeded team (we were 4th seeded) who beat the team that beat us twice (6-4 and 6-5); they were 2nd seed. Mind you, this was also the team that beat us 9-6…
But, this is getting kinda winded and I want to write more about my emotional results in this so I’ll leave this as a cliffhanger. ;)
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